Thinking about you...when I'm supposed not to

Yup, exactly what the quotes said. I woke up today, thinking that I have to post this no matter what. It's such a strange feeling because whenever I hear a love song or reading quotes, it made me think of you. In fact, I think about you a lot. Though I promised myself to concentrate on my studies but my mind just wanders off to you instead. I don't know how I got to fall for a guy like you but I did and it was unexpected. I don't remember the exact date that I fell for you but I realised that my heart has been thumping really hard in my chest whenever you're around.

How did it come to this? I promised myself to focus on gettng 7As this year to make my parents proud but instead, I'm wavering from that path because of you. I keep thinking on how to catch your eye but I got scared and instead pretended I don't care for you. Though I don't want to admit it, I wish I am able to pursue 'us' but stuff like religion and worries get in my way.

I almost got heart-broken after hearing that you already like a girl from your class from a not-so-reliable source. I wish that 'source' could just shut his bloody mouth from spitting anymore lies. I told myself that it have a chance to be true but there's also a chance that it might not be true. So, I pretended I didn't care about the rumour but I do care.

I care if you got hurt. I care if you feel sad. I care if you were left out. I care if you got the same classes with me. I care, I care, I care...that I couldn't look you in the eye; that I avoided you; that I might be harsh on you. In short, I care about you.

I need to be strong if I don't want anything to stand in my way. I need to go for it if I think that I might have a chance. I need to be just...be me if I want you to like me back.