Saturday, October 20, 2012

Updates!


I just woke up from a long restful sleep after coming back from the new house that we're going to move in next week and now, I'm watching K-pop while writing typing this. According to science, this is called 'multi-tasking' (heheh, I know XD). I'm quite bored after I did so many things today.

After I logged into my blog, I read a comment on one of my recent post (the one before this) and I kinda felt a bit better about the whole situation. Although, sweet_me is not really one of those people who is in the fault because...I guess, you can say she understands the situation and tries not to make it worse. So, she's in my okay list. (^^ Thanks, sweet_me for the appreciation!)

Anyway, today we're supposed to look at bicycles and stuff but because of the people who suppose to come to the new house today at 2 for the furnitures were so effing late. We waited one hour and when my mum called them, they said that they were told to come there at 5!! Since we couldn't stand waiting another minute in the (not so) dusty new house, we went back our current home.

So, officially the bicycle shopping and the real shopping is cancelled. Because of that, I can't go to Suria to buy Lonelyness a birthday gift. I'm sorry Lonelyness!!! T^T

Friday, October 19, 2012

Maybe I'm a hypocrite for saying this but..

this doesn't change the fact that I'm seriously at my tolerance limit.

I'm fed up that people doesn't appreciate my gift and not remembering to return it with at least a bit of kindness. I have enough of people's overly ungratefulness towards me and others who are giving in their best effort. I can't stand that some people are treating others as if they are rubbish. And blah blah blah etc. I have too much of these negative feelings to put in here. But one thing for sure, I have to let it out before I explode like an active volcano.

I guess you can say that my tolerance string is slowly being cut by people's treatment towards me. Mostly, the bad treatment is done by those who are around me especially the ones who are close. I tried to keep my cool but they are seriously not helping. Although I kept saying that I can stand it and that it's alright but it's not. There's a limit to my cool you know.

It's even worse when I know how the person who is being treated by them feels. I've learnt to keep my cool and 'seek first to understand, then to be understood' but sometimes I just wish they knew how to put their feet in others' shoes. It's difficult when I know that they're treating me with not the respect that I deserve but with stupid selfishness of theirs. I could be selfish saying this myself but they're being mean to me without any reason.

One of the people who trigger my bad mood today was a close friend of mine. Previously, I exploded at her for her saying that we (me and my other close friends) did not care for her and that we're backstabbing her. Yes, we may say all those 'bad' things to you but it's for your own good. I know we tease you about you-know-who but that doesn't mean we're making it so obvious. Ah! Here comes the part where you triggered my bad mood since yesterday.

YOU teased me about Cat and you're making it so freakin' OBVIOUS!!! I think Puan knows already. Not only that, some other people may already tease Cat about me liking him. I don't know whether I'm being paranoid or not but I'm pretty damn sure that you used his effing REAL name. I know you only said,"Oh not_so_lucky loves the football team, Man******" to some guys but that doesn't mean it's not obvious.

Gosh! What a load of respect you have for me and my privacy! I know you may think I'm a hypocrite for saying that but seriously, you gotta put it in your head that you and only you were making it obvious that you like you-know-who. Just watch your big mouth. It may not hurt you now but all the bad things and the secrets you may have exposed will come back to hit you in the future.

Another thing that set me off today was probably the so-called people's gratefulness towards the people who have authority. These people were mostly my classmates and Cat's too. They don't give a damn about the efforts and sacrifices that the teachers are making to help them. Here, I maybe a hypocrite for not realising it earlier but at least now I understand and tried to make it up to them.

One example is when our geography teacher typed most of my classmates' projects because theis projects are too effed up! And what did she get for her willingly sacrificed time and efforts? Only 8 of us passed?!? What kind of bullsh*t is that? If they knew and have at least a small amount of respect for her, wouldn't they all make an effort to at least pass the subject?

Even after knowing that, they still wouldn't give her the respect that she so deserves and instead sympathy (or maybe none at all). Even if they have any sympathy they wouldn't even push themselves to repay her, only say "That's so sad". WE DO NOT NEED YOUR SYMPATHY, WE JUST NEED YOUR RESPECT.

*sigh* I think I'm alright now. Kinda. But I just wish they could understand what misery I'm feeling right now. These things that I've just posted are just a small part of my feelings. It's not going to last forever but it sure is ugly. Since I already let it out, I'm going to be in an okay mood later. But that doesn't mean you have to treat me so bad, I just need a little break from wearing myself out with tolerating with selfish people.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Giving up...



I'm giving up on 'nagging' at you (and maybe hanging out) but that doesn't stop me from still being nice to you.

I have tolerate enough of your 'you-suck-I-don't-care' attitude towards me and others.
I have enough of you being so ignorant of others' feelings.
I have enough of myself giving you so much care and you not seeing it.
I have enough of you thinking that we're such bitches.
I have enough, I HAVE ENOUGH!

But that doesn't stop me from thinking that you were a friend who I shared my secrets with.
You were a friend that I've shared my sappy stories with.
You were a friend that doesn't give out an emotional outburst like me.
You were a friend that I trusted.

So, I'm still going to be nice (even if you think that I'm doing this for something bad). You have no choice but to let me be nice to you because I'm still going to be no matter what.


Friday, May 25, 2012

Thinking about you...when I'm supposed not to


Yup, exactly what the quotes said. I woke up today, thinking that I have to post this no matter what. It's such a strange feeling because whenever I hear a love song or reading quotes, it made me think of you. In fact, I think about you a lot. Though I promised myself to concentrate on my studies but my mind just wanders off to you instead. I don't know how I got to fall for a guy like you but I did and it was unexpected. I don't remember the exact date that I fell for you but I realised that my heart has been thumping really hard in my chest whenever you're around.

How did it come to this? I promised myself to focus on gettng 7As this year to make my parents proud but instead, I'm wavering from that path because of you. I keep thinking on how to catch your eye but I got scared and instead pretended I don't care for you. Though I don't want to admit it, I wish I am able to pursue 'us' but stuff like religion and worries get in my way.

I almost got heart-broken after hearing that you already like a girl from your class from a not-so-reliable source. I wish that 'source' could just shut his bloody mouth from spitting anymore lies. I told myself that it have a chance to be true but there's also a chance that it might not be true. So, I pretended I didn't care about the rumour but I do care.

I care if you got hurt. I care if you feel sad. I care if you were left out. I care if you got the same classes with me. I care, I care, I care...that I couldn't look you in the eye; that I avoided you; that I might be harsh on you. In short, I care about you.



I need to be strong if I don't want anything to stand in my way. I need to go for it if I think that I might have a chance. I need to be just...be me if I want you to like me back.

Story: Chapter 1 (Part 4-updated)

A/N(Update): Hi guys! Once again, I updated this part to make it much more interesting (I hope). Thanks for telling me my flaws and commenting, sweet_me! It helped a lot!! Gotta do my Geo project now...Bye for now!

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~Benjamin POV~


“Ben, wake up! We have to go to school!” Lizzy shouted.

“No! I don’t wanna” I replied, sleepily.

“C’mon! WAKE UP!” light suddenly shines on my face as the duvet was pulled from my bed.

“LIZZY!!!” I shouted at my sister, Lizzy.

“What? Give me three reasons why you hate school and I'll let you go!” she shouted back.

“First, you’re probably the most popular girl in school which makes everyone at school look down on me and secondly, it’s not the school that I wanted to go!” I shouted. "Lastly, Mum and Dad is not here!" I said, not thinking properly. I’m just angry at Lizzy, my parents and even the whole world for not preventing that day at the train station from happening.

Lizzy, saw through my words paused, looked at me with her pleading eyes. She's probably trying to tell me not to make things worse. “Ben, I know that things have been hard for you. It has been for me too. So can you please stop and think what would Mum and Dad would do if they saw you behave like this?” she said. I stopped and think for a while and finally said, “Fine”.

“Good. Now go put on some clothes. Breakfast is waiting for you at the table,” Lizzy said, as she tidied up my room, which I secretly think can almost compete with ‘The Hoarders’ show. “Geez, why can’t you just throw these away?” Lizzy said as she held up a few of my comic books that she plucked out from my collection. “Or better yet; sell them! And what about this…”

“Yeah, whatever you say. Go ahead and sell them for all I care,” I mumbled, not listening to her rambling. I slipped on a black shirt with a picture of a skull and red ink on it. The red ink or ‘blood’ is splattered all over the shirt revealing my gothic side. Lizzy never like the shirt because she thinks it’s too black. “Whatever” I said to her when she tried to talk me out of it. I quickly grabbed my messenger bag and ran out of the room.
I ran down the stairs leading to the living room and jogged towards the kitchen. I saw that no one was in the kitchen and an empty plate was sitting there at the table. 'Mr Kingstone must have left in a hurry', I thought when I saw a few crumbs near the plate. I stopped abruptly at the kitchen table, making me almost lost my footing and grabbed a sandwich. I ran out of the door before Lizzy could stop me. Even if she could, I will sneak behind her back anyway.

When I finally got out of the front door, I stopped to stare at my grandparents’ detached house. Although a man, Mr Kingstone who is not blood-related to the family is taking care and living with me and Lizzy in that house, the land is under my family’s surname, Waine. It’s just that Mr Kingstone agreed to take care of us, for the sake of his old friend, my grandfather.

Before I turn my back, I spotted Lizzy staring at me through the living room’s window. Then, she grabbed a rectangular object and brought it close to her ear. Suddenly, I heard a loud ringing coming from my back pocket of my jeans. I took out my cell phone and pressed the green answering button. Immediately, I can hear her calm, soothing voice.

“I told the school that you got a fever” I heard her say.

“Thanks, Lizzy” I said.

“…I need you to stay safe, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“I almost forgot…”

“What?”

“Happy anniversary”

“…You too, Lizzy.”

“Good. I have to go to school now”.

“Bye. See you at home, sis”

“You better”

I hung up after that. I waved good-bye at Lizzy before I walk along the pavement. I munched on the bacon sandwich that I grabbed in a hurry while I walk towards a nearby park. There were a few people around so I sat on a bench near the trees. I swallowed the last of my sandwich before I stare into the open space, thinking.

May 23rd. Today is the third anniversary of the day when my parents left me and Lizzy on a bus to Sioux Falls. I was only twelve and Lizzy fourteen when my dad told us to find our grandparents’ old house. I leaned back on the bench and closed my eyes, my mind travelled back to the time at the train station where I last saw Mum and Dad…

3 years earlier…

“Why do we have to look for Grandpa and Grandma’s house? They’re already dead anyway” I said when Lizzy and I were lining up. Dad ignored the question and said, “Just find a man called Mr Kingstone. He’s living in your grandparents’ old house now. Tell him your names and he will take care of you”.

I looked at both Mum and Dad through confused eyes. Even though they tried to hide it, I can see that there’s anxiety in their eyes ever since they asked us to pack our bags with food and clothes in that same morning. “Why won’t you come with us? Did we do something wrong?” I asked, probing for answers.

“No, my little Ben, you didn’t anything wrong”, Mum said with her British accent as she bent down to touch my face. “Then, why are you leaving us? Also, I don’t like being called ‘little’. I’m already twelve!” I said a bit annoyed. Mum laughed. “I know. You’re growing up very fast, Ben. You deserve to know why we are asking this of you but we cannot tell you at this moment”, she said. “Fine”, I said even though I’m not so satisfied with her answer.

“Will you come and look for us?” Lizzy, always the mature one, asked. “Yes, of course. No matter where you both go, your father and I will always find you”, said Mum before she wraps her arms around both of us. Dad, too, gave us one last hug before we step on the train.

THUMP! “Ouch!”

My memory quickly vanished the moment I heard these sounds. I opened my eyes abruptly and stood up slowly. ‘Did someone fall just now? Where did that person fell from? I wonder if he’s alright’, I thought as I walked towards a tree where the voice came from.

As I glanced behind the tree, I felt a push behind me and I slipped at the roots of the tree. ‘Someone just pushed me!’ I thought angrily. I turned around to see my attacker, about to give her a piece of my mind.

‘Wait—what? It’s a her?’ I thought surprised with what—who I saw. Staring back at me is a girl with long silky black hair and golden eyes. “I’m sorry I pushed you, sir. I assumed that you were an enemy of mine”, she spoke in the same British accent like Mum does. “In return of helping you up from the filthy ground, would you be so kind to tell me where am I, sir?”

I stared at her, didn’t believe what I just heard. “You were the one who pushed me?” I said out loud. I find it hard to believe that this girl who looks to be smaller than me in size but still can push a football player like me easily. “Yes and I apologize again if I caused you any injury”, she said. I don’t want to admit it but I’m starting to feel a bit painful at my back where she pushed me. I stood up, struggling not to trip on any of the roots.

When I looked at her again, an image of Mr Kingstone suddenly appeared in my head, merging with the image of the girl. I realised that they looked quite alike in features although the girl have golden eyes and Mr Kingstone has deep green eyes. Suddenly, I want to know more about this girl and Mr Kingstone and how are they connected. I felt a static feeling flowing through me—the kind that makes you feel like an adventure is coming—for the first time since the day at the train station.

“Who the hell are you?” I finally asked, wanting some answers.

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A/N: Hope you enjoy the story so far! Comment now!! XD

Story: Chapter 1 (Part 3-originally from part 1)

A/N: The 3rd part of the chapter as promised! Thanks for commenting, Lonelyness! I will support your story by commenting too!! ^^

~Camille POV~

I screamed as loud as I can before running. When I started running, the skeleton only tilts its head and tried to open its jaw like he wanted to say something. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have the vocal chords like he used to when it’s alive. So, it moved as carefully as it can to make sure the bones still stick together while I ran like the wildest horse, not caring if I broke a rib or two.


At last, I reached the outside world, panting. I closed the door, knowing that the moving skeleton is going to take a long time to reach the entrance. I ran around the bell tower where I last saw Grandpa. As expected, he was there waiting with his back facing the wall. “Camille, I heard your scream! What happened?!” he half-shouted and half-whispered, worried that someone might hear him. I explained quickly and he relaxed a bit. "As long as you're alright", he sighed.

I realised that he was holding the pouch over his shoulder where a potruding bone threatens to tear my grandfather’s skin. When he put away the red pouch, the protruding bone is gone! It has been cured! I let out a gasp of amazement when Grandpa stretched his arm and not groaning in pain when he did. “Good as new”, he said to himself as he grinned. He saw me with my jaw dropped and laughed softly. “I’ll explain to you later”, he just said.

Suddenly, I felt many people surrounded us and one of them pointed his sword at me. “Don’t move a muscle”, the man behind me warned. I felt trapped because I couldn’t take out the knife because I know that the men around us can hurt us much better than me.

“My, my, such a lovely party we have here”, a sickly sing-song voice suddenly sounded behind us—a voice that I now hated so much. I looked at where the voice was and there she was; Septima. She snatched the red pouch from Grandpa’s hand. He glared at her when she said, “Thank you, Robert for fetching us a special ingredient for our plan”. I assume when she mentioned ‘them’ that she meant her and her henchmen.

What I didn’t expect was a green slate-looking stone fell from the red pouch onto the old lady’s open palm. ‘All my hard work for a stone?!’ I thought angrily.

“What?! That’s your plan for killing the phoenix?! Using a harmless stone?!” the man behind me shouted, frustrated. “Quiet, Fresnar! Don’t you know that this is a scale from a jade dragon?! I assure you that it can stop the phoenix from attacking the village—and your family”, the old lady huffed. “Hmph! How do you plan to do that, Septima? The only good thing about the ‘oh-so mighty dragon scale is that it’s shiny!” Fresnar spat, obviously not convinced with Septima’s words.

Septima just smiled and walked towards the front of the bell tower. “Do not go in there!” Grandpa warned, unexpectedly. “There’s an evil spirit that resides in that tower. If you go in there, your life is at risk!” Grandpa continued. Septima just laughed. “Oh my, Robert, don’t you know that it’s essential for a spirit as dark as the one in the tower to be sacrificed to activate the power in this scale?” she mocked. Though I heard everything correctly, I do not understand a word they just said. It’s like they spoke in a different language entirely.

Before Grandpa can open his mouth, I heard Fresnar groaned. I turned to see that he was holding his arm. It was bleeding! “Wh-what happened?!” he shouted. Then I felt something whooshed past me and another man was bleeding. It happened again a few more times but even faster with every blow. Then, in less than a moment I realised all the men are lying on the ground, dead.

“What, who killed my men?! Answer me, Kingstone!” Septima shouted as she approached Grandpa. “It wasn’t me, I swear”, Grandpa told her. “But I did”, said a voice so familiar. I almost cried with joy when I saw my father holding hands with my mother, so relieved that they saved me and Grandpa.

“Mother! Father!” I cried as I ran to them and hugged them. Father hugged me back and Mother almost squeezed me to death with her tight but warm hug. “Oh my, such an interesting reunion; a family of witches? This is the luckiest day of my life!!” Septima laughed maniacally. ‘A family of witches? What is she talking about? Is she crazy?’ I thought.

Suddenly, a gust of wind blew around us—no, the howling wind came from Septima!

“Tonitru ventus!” cried Septima. The wind threw my parents, Grandpa and me backwards into the wall of the tower, causing us to pass out.

“We will meet again in the future”, Septima whispered before darkness finally overwhelmed me.

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A/N: Cliffhanger!! Lol...Comment ok? ;D
 

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Story: Chapter 1 (Part 2-originally from part 1)

A/N: Hi again! This is the 2nd part of the 1st chapter as promised but this is originally from the 1st part but I split it into 3 parts now. So, it's going to be 4 parts for this chapter. I didn't change this part and the next part much;only a bit of the description. So sorry guys. Be patient with me if you want to read the rest of the chapter. Don't forget to comment! So far, only sweet_me commented. Thanks, sweet_me!
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~Camille POV~

“Men, tie him somewhere outside. The rest of you can go back to your homes and—sleep,” Septima chuckled at her last word while everyone in the room obeyed her command. I noticed that their faces were emotionless as if they were under some kind of spell. I quickly ran and hid behind a pillar which is 20 metres away from the entrance before the swarm of villagers shuffled out of the hall. There's no one else than them that's not under a spell except for one group of people who is dragging my limp grandfather’s body.


The group of men tied Grandpa to a pillar right in front of the entrance and I almost thought that Grandpa was dead. I let out a sigh of relief when a soft groan from my grandfather proved my suspicions to be wrong. I quickly hid again behind the huge pillar before one of the men turned around towards my direction, having heard my sigh. He quickly dismissed it, probably thought it was just his mind playing a trick on him.

When the coast is once again clear, I took a peek at the group hovering around Grandpa. Septima let out a cackling laugh followed by her men. They must be laughing at her cruel joke about Grandpa. 'How can she do this? Why' I thought, enraged that I was the one who brought her to the village. They left shortly after that.

I made sure that they were completely gone before walking towards Grandpa. “Grandpa, are you alright?” I whispered softly but loud enough for him to jolt at my presence. “Oh, it’s only you”, he replied, weakly but relieved that it was only me. I smiled, relief overwhelmed me. Although Grandpa didn’t visit me at all at the mansion but I am aware of the beautiful gifts and delightful letters that he sent as apologies. I always forgave him because my mother told me that he has a big responsibility and I must understand that he wishes to visit me and my parents deeply.

“Look behind the pillar, you’ll find something that will help you cut these ropes off”, Grandpa instructed. I obeyed. I found a knife hidden under the cracks of the stone, making it almost unseen. I knew that my grandfather put it there, because in his letters he always explain how important that we must be prepared for anything.

I sliced the ropes with ease, making me realised how sharp the knife really is. Grandpa really is ready for anything, which means that there might be trouble. I quickly steadied my weak grandfather when he almost slipped and asked him a question that has been bothering me the most; what in the world is going on?

“Do you know the tale of the Ancient King?” Grandpa asked. “I only know the folklore”, I replied while trying to support Grandpa’s weight. “The beast that attacks the village is the phoenix…” Grandpa said, softly. “What? You mean the folklore is real?” I said, shocked with the discovery. Grandpa nodded.

“You came with Septima, didn’t you? You see, she’s my cousin but we’re not blood-related though”, Grandpa said, shamefully. “She’s your cousin?! Why would she want to do this to you?” I asked disbelief and anger grew inside me. Grandpa paused before answering, “That’s a matter brought up from the past that should have been never brought up”.

I realised that there’s something in his voice that made me stopped asking questions.“Take me to the tower”, he commanded suddenly. I obeyed reluctantly. He nudged my hand indicating to bring him behind the bell tower.

“Grandpa, what are we doing?” I whispered when I helped him sit down on an abandoned wooden crate. Grandpa sighed, “Don’t your parents ever tell you anything?” I thought about that and shook my head. He sighed again as if this bothers him why my parents did not tell me. It seems that I should know about whatever that my parents has been hiding from me. “Your parents must have a reason for not telling you, I assume but I’ll tell you this just in case. The phoenix usually attack at night. That’s why we’re hiding, since the sun is going to set soon. The problem is; how to stop the phoenix?” he whispered the last sentence, almost making it almost unheard. Suddenly, he looked at me and looked at the tower and at me again. “I’ve got an idea but you must do what I ask”, he said.

“Alright, I’ll do it if it can help you stop the phoenix from attacking the village”, I said honestly. “Good. Now, listen carefully. Go inside the tower and look for a red pouch on the top floor where the bell is”, he said with a cautious and urgent voice. “What will I have to do if I found it?” I asked, wondering how a red pouch can help us. “Throw it out the window from the floor below where the bell is. That way, I will know it’s you”, he continued.

Grandpa pushed me with his hand that is not badly damaged before I could ask anymore. “If anything goes wrong, stab the object inside the red pouch with the knife. Now go”, he said firmly. This time I didn’t want to ask anymore questions probably because of the fear that I can hear in his voice. I walked softly towards the door that leads inside the bell tower. I looked around me, making sure no one is watching me. Satisfied, I went inside and climbed the stairs that leads to the bell. I noticed there were spider webs stuck on the corners of the ceiling and dust on the railings of the stairs.

I found it a bit strange that I find no one there. Not the guards; not even the bell keeper. ‘Why would the villagers build this bell tower if they didn’t use or even step foot in this place for years?’ I thought as I counted the windows as I passed each floor. There were two windows on each floor and there were six floors so which makes that there are twelve of them in this tower.

I paused when I felt something moved. I turned around as I took out the knife slowly from my dress pocket which was big enough and the material inside is custom-made to not be torn—or sliced with a knife easily. My mother was the one who sewn this dress. I don’t know how did she make the material this way but I don't wonder about it because it keeps me safe. “That’s the most important thing”, she would say.

I looked around for any sign of movement but there wasn’t any. Suddenly, something scurried past me and I immediately point the knife at the creature. I paused when the creature’s eyes met mine.

I put the knife back into my pocket when I saw how silly I was when I point the knife at the ‘creature’ when it’s only a rat! I sighed, “You frightened me. I apologise for my rudeness”. The rat squeaked in reply before it scurried away. All those years of training in swordsmanship, I, Camille Blackspear am afraid of a rat!

Even though I’m only thirteen, my parents trained me in the hand of the sword since I was three. It was a difficult experience. My parents would be so hard on me whenever we’re in training. As a kid, I didn’t understand why they have to force me to hold the sword at such a young age but I went through it anyway. Like all the people that have undergone hard training for years, I became almost as good as my parents.

I continued climbing the stairs until I reached its end. I gasped when I saw a human skeleton hanging by its neck in front of me. I closed my mouth with my hand to keep myself from screaming. “So, that’s why they don’t want to come here, they think it’s haunted!” I said to myself when I saw a piece of plank hanging around its neck with a word written in blood that says "Beware".
Then, I noticed a red object partly covered by the dark behind the bell. I gathered all the courage that I have and made my way towards the mysterious object. I walked more cautiously when I passed by the skeleton. Whatever killed that person, I have to be cautious and stay alive.

Suddenly, I heard a ‘ping’ when I took a step further from the skeleton. I ran towards the bell when I was almost shot by an arrow. I took cover behind the bell and reached for the red pouch. I snatched it quickly and ran again towards the stairs while trying to avoid the arrows flying at me.

I ran towards the stairs; sometimes skipping a few steps to fasten my pace. When I reached the promised window, I quickly threw the red pouch out of the window. I heard a soft ‘thud’ and soft shuffling steps. I peeked at the window and looked down.

I saw Grandpa gave me the thumbs-up sign and I smiled at him. I ran down the stairs again, faster with every skip. Then, I felt something strange. It’s not like one of those sick feelings you get after running around spiral steps but like something but it’s like someone so dark is watching you. I paused and looked around trying to spot a pair of eyes.

Then, I spotted them, those pair of eyes when I looked up. It’s not the fact that there’s someone was watching me that frighten me but the fact that these pair of eyes belong to someone dead.

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A/N: Comment, comment, comment! ><